DRAG QUEENS AND STILETTOES

By TJ Miles

Every year around this time in Torrevieja we have a wonderful carnival that parades through the streets with loud music blasting, horns tooting and ladies virtually in the altogether in celebration of the coming spring. A lot of time and effort has been put into some fantastic outfits and floats, and it’s worth bracing yourself for a long stand in what is still likely to be a cold evening at this time of year. I wonder do the ladies in the bikinis rub that goose grease on them like the English channel swimmers in an effort to stay warm while samba-ing down the street?

As part of the festival, on the fringe if you like, a number of other events take place for all ages and interests, from art exhibitions, dance classes, musical evenings and this year saw the 2010 competition for ‘Torrevieja Drag Queen‘. Apparently drag queens are a big thing in Spain. Well they were this night, that’s for sure! I have seen grown men in dresses before but not in 16 inch high heels! They could hardly stand let alone dance. But bless their cotton socks, dance they did. I least I think they were cotton socks, but to be honest I couldn’t’t see that high.

When the first act came on I was quite impressed for a minute until he/she slipped and went down like a sack of King Edwards. Exactly the same scenario as last year. An audience-wide sharp intake of breath created a vacuum in which the contestant valiantly filled, in the best ‘The show must go on’ grimace, with a few samba inspired moves while lying on the floor. He managed to get up and completed the rest of his act a little more carefully.

Another act came out with more sensible shoes and managed to get through without even a hitch of her skirt. When I say sensible shoes I don’t exactly mean in the style of Miss Jean Brodie, although there were similarities in other ways…… The most poignant act was one drag queen who started removing most of her clothes to a melancholic song. It was as if she was stripping layers off her personality and at the end created a far more lasting impression of the pain of pretending to be something she wasn’t for the sake of the approval of society. She should have won first prize but sadly didn’t even make it into the top three.

Last year virtually everybody went A.O.T. (arse-over-tit). Why so over the top footwear? Each time it happened I was breaking out in small fits of giggles. It was quite funny when it happened to almost everyone. This year most of the contestants were a little bit warier and while the outfits were outlandish their dancing was slightly more subdued. Maybe I should go into the cobbling business for large ‘Ladies’ instead of pushing carpet tile slippers.

Has anyone seen the film ‘Kinky Boots’?