 Posted by: Rob Innis
Filled in: Spainrico (aka Rob Innis)
It’s Not to Hot to Tango
by Rob Innis
It’s August the mercury is in the 30+ region so summer is in full swing – or should I say Tango. A new feature for summer in Torrevieja is street  entertainment. Whilst taking my ‘paseo’ last night I came across a couple in ‘Come Dancing’ mode demonstrating the Tango. Fortunately no Bruce Forsyth in sight (I love him really, I remember Generation Game)
The new remodelled town centre makes these impromptu displays a great addition to the usual street entertainment of being sold bootleg sunglasses and ‘Rolex’ watches. I sat watching the street vendors the other night. Whilst the ‘Lacoste’ polo shirts were shifting like hot cakes the guy pushing designer handbags was having less luck than Schumacher’s comeback attempts.
Another new arrival is the statues – you know the people dressed up in weird costumes standing totally still for hours.  What a way to make a living, being static for money. Perhaps they got the idea from England’s footballers.
 Whilst the AVE (see TIM August) project might be delayed arriving in Alicante, Torrevieja has its own version happily chugging around the town. So it might be a little slower, but the kids seem happy enough waving from the carriages as it negotiates its way along the prom and through the marina.
Those wishing to choose a greener mode of transport can opt for the pony and trap offering a more nostalgic ride around town. Should also benefit the roses as well.
Parking spaces are at a premium as the restaurants overflow out onto the street with their tables occupying those precious spaces. More French around this year, you can tell from the F on the cars plates. Maybe a sign of the crisis as our prices are cheaper for dîner avec le vin than St Tropez. Found some Francais struggling with the local map who, it turned out, were seeking the street market. Combination of English/Spanish/French directions set them off in the right direction, I hope.
Don’t forget one of the summer’s highlights – the Bikini Bash August 28th, Campoamor Beach (south of Torrevieja). See page 34 in the August TIM for the full details. The event is an attempt at the Guinness Book of Records and you might even end up in a charity calendar.
Wherever you are and whatever you are doing, I hope you enjoy your summer.
Posted by: Rob Innis
Filled in: Spainrico (aka Rob Innis)
 As many of you know I write for The Inland Magazine (TIM) and in my spare time I also manage this blog site for TIM.
I encourage, cajole (OK beg a little) the contributors and write the occasional post myself.
The site traffic stats are another little job I look at now and again – and this is where my happiness and confusion sets in.
Stop Press – Just gone through the 10,000 hits!
The happiness – because already this month we have three times the June hits (and that was not a bad month) and it is only the 21st of the month.
The confusion because I would love to know why the sudden dramatic increase – are you a new visitor? Where did you see the link or were you searching? – please leave a comment and reveal all.
Yes yes I know all you teckys out there are thinking why does he not get a detailed traffic stats package then he would know every time a site visitor sneezed.
But I thought I would try the personal approach first……..link with your readers.
Posted by: Spainrico
Filled in: Spainrico (aka Rob Innis)
Campeones
By Rob Innis
Expats frequently muse on the differences between Spanish and English culture. How they love to eat, talk, spend time with their family etc. Probably one of the many pleasures of being an Expat is too observe these behaviours and reflect that perhaps we Brits have something to learn.
Over the last month or so we have witnessed probably the worlds 2nd biggest event – The World Cup (after the Olympics?) I opted to watch most of Spain’s matches in my local bar including the final.
 From the very young to the ‘tercera edad’ aged Granddads, all were involved and included, shouting, cheering, clapping and of course blowing horns or sounding off klaxons.
I have followed football for over 40 years. I can remember the victorious English in 1966 (thankfully – as it may never happen again in my lifetime) and was at Wembley for my teams one FA Cup final appearance (which they won)
After Spain won Euro 2008 (beating Germany 1-0) I remember phoning my Spanish brother-in-law and saying ‘Next the World Cup’ to which he replied ‘That’s tougher with the South American teams’
But the way the draw worked out we (the Spanish) only played Chile and Paraguay, probably some of the easier South American teams the biggest challenge came from Europe with Portugal, Germany and finally Holland.
 At each match the Spanish fans were confident that they would win – they displayed absolute faith that the Spanish players were good enough to triumph. Even at 1-0, especially against the Germans, I always thought the opposition would equalise. Whilst those around me remained relatively calm I was always the one (the only Brit in the bar) more nervous than them!
No criticism was ever forthcoming – if things did go temporarily wrong, there was no whinging about the manager, tactics, selection and of course no sex scandals to debate for them. (Was that the underlying cause of England’s non performances?)
Another difference is the Spanish ability to absorb the noise – do they have a different ear drums to us Brits, more able to cope with simultaneous klaxons causing the walls of the bar to shake.
 Well we waited a long time for the winning goal – but the Spanish always knew it would come, and it did sending the whole town into a frenzy of fireworks, drums, klaxons and car horns until deep into the night.
An army of cleaners were in action this morning cleaning up the town – but they were all smiling after all they are Campeones, exactly what they expected since kick off.
Posted by: Spainrico
Filled in: Spainrico (aka Rob Innis)
The Inland Magazine & La Finca presents
Fun in the Sun
this Saturday – June 19th
For more scroll down the blogs on this site or see page 29 in the June magazine.
You are invited!
STOP PRESS
Great day had by all in the sun, if you were not there you missed the fun! See the July magazine for more photos…….
Posted by: Spainrico
Filled in: Spainrico (aka Rob Innis)
Same old, same old…..
By Rob Innis
Life in Spain means paying a very high price for English newspapers. Which is why I don’t buy one very often. However this weekend I paid 3,30€ for a Sunday Mail. I wanted to research how many football matches attracted a bigger gate yesterday than Southampton vs. Leeds (a third division match) For any football fans the answer was only 2 (Chelsea, Spurs). I dread to think of the entrance price for a premiership match.
Having satisfied that question I looked thorough the rest of the 104 pages which I got for my 3,30€ and decided not much has changed in British journalism.
The usual political nonsense including more snide comments about the height of Nicolas Sarkozy – give the man a break. Perhaps he has not seen the ad on Spanish TV for plastic wedges you put in your shoes or perhaps he is short of the 70€ price tag.
A Tory MP makes the headlines for claiming expenses for 13p’s worth of Tipp-Ex. Probably the question that should have been answered was what was he Tipp-Ex-ing?
Then the usual xenophobic stuff against immigrants. This time the Poles – thought they had been accepted as hard working and no bother. But no. Apparently, a meat-packing factory has refused to employ English workers because the health and safety instructions are only available in Polish. Well that’s OK then because no one ever understands them anyway.
Then accusations that the tax office is withholding tax rebates worth millions of pounds. The hard up UK government reluctant to part with the money. Perhaps they are going to use it to run Polish language classes for unemployed Brits.
Poor old JC, no not that one the other one – him from Top Gear. Nelson Mandela, 91, confused Jeremy Clarkson with an astronaut asking him, ‘What is the moon was like.’ Jeremy, in what he later claimed was because he was ‘Incredibly nervous and acted like a fool’ replied – ‘It’s rocky and dusty and not much gravity.’ Nelson’s aides (that’s with an E) later claimed JC was taking the p***. No surely not.
Sir Bob Geldof has been ranting on again this time claiming none of the money he has helped raise has gone to buying guns and not food. Not so replies Richard Dowden who, whilst an unknown compared to SBG, is Director of the Royal African Society. So, his opinion that ‘guns getting rid of Mengistu regime may have been Live Aid’s biggest contribution to preventing more famine’ may in fact have some merit.
An innocent auctioneer was ‘shell’ shocked at being arrested for unwittingly selling birds eggs that were hidden in an old chest of drawers at his auction. He now faces a fine of 5,000 pounds and or 6 months in prison. Great to know Britain is getting to grips with serious crime.
Finally, John Cleese gets a double page photo spread for dating a range of tall blonds half his age.  Perhaps they think he plays 007 and not Q in the James Bond movies. I just think he has got a touch of the Rod Stewarts.
Oh well at least it answered my football research queries. I might buy another one in 5 years time.
Posted by: Spainrico
Filled in: Spainrico (aka Rob Innis)
A Jet Setters 2010
By Rob Innis
OK this blog is about Life in Spain but what if……..
We imagine you have had a result on the lottery and you like to travel. Here is my suggested itinerary to ensure you are ‘seen’ at ‘the’ events of 2010.
You can spend the remainder of January shopping because you are going to need plenty of gear for this epic schedule.
The action starts on 12th February – the place to be Vancouver, for the Winter Olympics. When you are bored with the off piste, book a flight early March back to Spain.
Your next event is walking some (or the full 800 kms) of the Camino de Santiago, because it is a holy year and so a pilgrimage is in order. During April, you can recover from your blisters and pack your bag ready for May in Beijing – the World Expo 2010 China. A gathering of many nations generally trying to outdo each.
 Next, it is off to South Africa for June 11th – World Cup kick off day, England’s first match is on the 12th against USA.
Now you have a big decision looming because of a clash – July 11th is World Cup Final Day but there is also a big event going on in Easter Island, South Pacific – a total eclipse of the sun. Maybe best to hold that booking to see who makes the final (If it is South Korea vs. North Korea – hit Easter Island)
Next desert time in Nevada for the Burning Man festival, August 30th – Sept 6th – I quote
“Is perfect for ‘did-I-really-see-that’ mirages. For 7 magical summer days, strange shapes dot the desert – evidence of what happens if you let your imagination run wild in the hot sun. There are no spectators here: everyone’s a participant. The only things for sale are coffee and ice. Fancy turning your car into a giant spider? Painting yourself blue? Burning Man is calling you.”
(The mind boggles)
For a contrast and change of continent it’s off to India for the start of the Commonwealth games on October 3rd. Fortunately (or not depending on your preferences) you will not be able to stay for the closing ceremony. Because you have to be in Paris for the end of the Peking – Paris (Wacky) Race featuring vintage cars taking around five weeks to cover the 14,000kms.
For the final event it is a return to India (Do not pass Go or collect 200 rupees) for the Camel fair in Pushkar, a tiny pilgrimage town in the Thar Desert of Rajasthan comes into focus. “Hundreds of camels and their owners’ camps fill the desert scrub.” (With what you will find out, mind where you walk)
By now you will have more air miles than Michael Palin!
If you make it to any or all of these – don’t forget to send me a postcard (or a blog comment)
For more:
http://www.lonelyplanet.com/france/paris/travel-tips-and-articles/42/20280?affil=lpemailcontent
Posted by: Spainrico
Filled in: Spainrico (aka Rob Innis)
POST OFFICE QUEUES – SPANISH CORREOS STYLE
By Rob Innis
There is big business being done in Spain by companies manufacturing and selling queue management systems. In every Spanish government building I have been to whether it’s Traffico, Seguridad Social or Hacienda you take a ticket and watch the screen for your turn. It is a good system, no one can queue jump, and if your number is a lot higher than the one being processed then you can disappear for a coffee. They are not only used for controlling `official business´ queues you find them at the supermarket fish counters etc. as well. So the bottom line is they are pretty common place and you don’t really need a degree to cope with them.
 Our post office, Correos, in Torrevieja was probably one of the last bastions of the no ticket queuing system until it relocated to more modern premises. Then the problems started. The ticket machine stands prominently by the entrance. It has 2 buttons to dispense the 2 types of ticket available. Unsurprisingly these are for sending (enviar) post and every other amazing function that the Correos can perform (why do I always go on the day when someone wants to send a registered parcel to some remote South American village?) and the other for collecting registered post (recoger).
Despite their being a large screen displaying which number ticket is being dealt with at which counter people still wander in, ignore the machine and ask who is the last person in the queue (Quien es el ultimo?) Then follows a conversation explaining how to get yourself a ticket. For some inexplicable reason there appears to be a total resistance to the tickets system in the Correos but the problems don’t end there.
Because those still in the confused twilight zone, most of whom are locals and not foreigners suffering sun stroke, try and take turn 4 at counter 8 instead of waiting for turn 8 at counter 4. As I am a foreigner in this country I never expect to be the first to work out local culture, systems or procedures but being blessed with a degree of common sense and numerical skills I have latched onto the system without a great deal of difficulty. This skill now means that I end up organising the people who are `queue system challenged´ and, surprisingly, many offer a very sincere gracias with a deep sense of meaning as if I had just sorted out their life’s total problems.
Oh well not to worry I am happy to play my small part in the EU social cohesion program and eventually I do get my turn – now where is counter 3?
January edition of The Inland Magazine will be out soon!
Posted by: Spainrico
Filled in: Spainrico (aka Rob Innis)
 TDT – Looks like it is the Future
By Rob Innis
For someone who still considers that he can ‘move his mouse with the best of them’ (sorry if that confuses you but do not give up on me yet) I do have to admit to a certain lack of technical understanding of current television technology.
Having decided that I had been parted with far too many euros for the doubtful privilege of receiving pirated UK TV whilst living on the ‘Urb’ I decided to go totally Spanish, as part of my new philosophy of living in Spain. I did upgrade to a flat screen a few years ago which received, with mixed picture quality, the standard range of around six Spanish channels from the normal aerial, or should it be antenna?
Then the TV penny, so to speak, dropped in that my televisual experiences would be enhanced (sorry been reading too much marketing hype) by the purchase of a TDT box. What is a TDT box? A fair question and the answer, I think, is a gizmo, which from the standard aerial receives digitally transmitted channels with better picture quality and a few other tricks. Off I went to my local electrodomesticos shop with a budget of around forty euros in mind. Yes, the man said, I needed a TDT, as eventually without one I would not receive anything when analogue transmissions are turned off. I opted for the Phillips model, if in doubt go with a name you know being my adage.
Then, looking at all the shiny new televisions on display with screens bigger than my old local Odeon after it was converted into a 3-studio cinema, tragically long since demolished depriving us of another fine example of Art Deco architecture, I was seduced. Incredible a 32 inch set for 399 euros, which with a bit of feminine logic supplied by my knowledgeable better half, netted down to 359 euros given the 40 euros saving on the now no longer required TDT box. Then confusion set in, as I had missed the point that all new sets came with integral TDT. Well the man’s Spanish was a bit fast for me.
Now many people, including my Dutch techno buddy, extol the virtues of the large discount hypermarket stores especially those with a German sounding name. He later informed me that he had seen the same TV for less money in the aforementioned store. OK, I challenged him, but would they have delivered and set it up, had a chat about football and taken the rubbish away? In addition, I saved a round trip to Alicante of 100 kms so I have reduced my carbon footprint, I like to keep my arguments topical. He had to admit I had a point, or two.
The new television dominates our lounge. However, the reception is superb as it is now digital. Channels, which were previously a bit fuzzy, notably Sexta that shows a lot of football, are now crystal clear. In addition, it receives radio channels so now the TV is also the wireless. The only thing it failed to do was stop me missing the kick off of a crunch football match, yes, Spanish TVE2 shows a lot of UK football. But wait the best is yet to come. Another neat feature, for the bilingually challenged, is being able to switch to the English language version of some films that are broadcast with the original soundtrack.
So for me TDT is a winner. Doubtless I am already out of date with HDD and probably loads more confusing acronyms already here or on the horizon but I am a satisfied client. Anybody want to buy a one careful owner flat screen non TDT TV, no I thought not.
The Inland Magazine November edition out now
http://issuu.com/timadmin
Posted by: Spainrico
Filled in: Spainrico (aka Rob Innis)
How to cause a Queue with 21,80€
I got fed up with carrying my small change around in my pocket. Because it regularly fell out, down into the gaps around my cars handbrake. Convincing me, that one day, it would cause the hand brake to fail leaving me rolling backwards down a hill in a panic.
Therefore, I started throwing all my 1, 2, and 5 euro coins into a small bowl. Soon they overflowed so I got a bigger bowl. Then deciding enough was enough I sorted them into three bags. That was 4 years ago, I know because that was the last time we moved and I meant to take them to the bank prior to the move. I forgot and having been given (very friendly bar) a little leather purse (call it girly I don’t care because it is so practical) my coins problem was solved.
Recently I grew tired of having three dusty bags of coins getting in my way, so I set off to take them to the bank. Opting for a main branch, confidently thinking they are bound to have a machine to count coins – no problem, I arrived at the bank to complete this long overdue chore.
Spain is full of unexpected surprises, big and small; of course, the bank was no exception. On reaching the counter, I asked in my best Spanish whether they had a coin-counting machine.
“No,” the young smiling female cashier replied “Only these,” waving her fingers at me. Oh, I explained well I have three bags full of coins. “No problem,” she said disappearing into the back office. I waited for her to return, confused why she had left the counter and wondering what would happen next. The queue behind me started to grow.
Finally, she returned, with three different types of little shaped plastic trays sized to take each type of coins. We then proceeded to lay my coins into the little trays and when they were full, she sealed them up with sellotape. This was a slow process, especially the small fiddly 1 cents, which she had craftily given me to do. Meantime the queue grew longer.
 I must say she treated it like great fun, even when she dropped one of the trays and all the coins escaped.
Finally we were finished, every coin in its plastic container and she totalled them up to 21,80€. I heard the sighs of relief and sensed the cola (the queue) grateful the game was over and the guiri had finished at the counter.
Moral of story – don’t save your loose change, spend it as you go unless you want to spend half the morning in the bank playing cashiers and causing a long cola.
However, keep an eye on your handbrake, because I bet your insurance policy will not cover handbrake failure caused by stray centimos coins. You have been warned.
Or, of course, you could get yourself a girly purse.
Rob Innis
October The Inland Magazine here
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